Як батьки своїми ж руками роблять дітей неслухняними? 7 типових помилок матерів і татусів

Часто батьки стикаються з проблемою, що в якийсь момент дитина стає абсолютно неконтрольованою і неслухняною. А ви їй пояснюєте, що так поводитися не можна, і голос підвищуєте, а все без толку! Можливо, час придивитися до себе і до своєї поведінки, перш ніж лаятися на дитину. Ми підготували 7 помилок батьків, які своїми ж руками роблять дітей неслухняними.

1. Ви кидаєте загрозливі фрази

Дитина сперечається і робить все на зло? Одні в таких випадках намагаються закликати до здорового глузду, інші починають погрожувати: «Будеш себе погано вести, більше не буду любити тебе», «Віддам в дитбудинок», «Чи забере міліціонер».

ТИПОВІ ДІВЧАТА в TELEGRAM – не пропусти найцікавіше

Діти чудово відчувають фальш. Обманюючи малюка, ви втратите його довіру, він буде вважати батьків брехунами, а його поведінка тільки погіршиться. Краще сказати так: «Я люблю тебе, але твою поведінку я не схвалюю».

2. Ви приділяєте дитині мало уваги

Ви працюєте з ранку до ночі, щоб купити дитині наймоднішу іграшку або гаджет. Замість слів подяки ви отримуєте сльози і капризи. Чому така несправедливість? Якщо дитина не отримує достатньо уваги, яка їй необхідна, вона знаходить свій спосіб його отримати — непослух. Їй не так потрібні подарунки від вас, як вихідний в аквапарку разом з вами.

Любов — це не подарунки, а дозвіл дитині проявляти будь-які емоції, приймати її і цікавитися її життям.

3. Ви постійно наказуєте

Якщо батьки спілкуються з дитиною тільки в наказовому тоні, діти відразу ж пручатися і упиратися. Таким способом малюк показує, що він особистість. Його рішення може бути не дуже правильним, зате своїм.

Звідки вам знати, що ви думаєте правильно? У батьків теж є комплекси і психологічні травми з дитинства. Не відкидайте, що і у вас може бути неправильна думка.

4. Ви більш уважні до молодшої дитини

Цей пункт тісно перетинається з другим. Дитині не вистачає уваги, і вона діє за принципом: «Раз мені незатишно, нехай вам теж буде».

5. Ви її критикуєте

«У тебе руки з одного місця ростуть», «Що за каляки-маляки ти малюєш», «Почерк як курка лапою» — кажуть батьки ці типові фрази. Після такого дитина втрачає впевненість в собі, вона перестає старатися. У неї з’являється думка: «Буду поганим, все одно ні на що не придатний».

6. Ви показуєте їй неправильний приклад

Ви спізнюєтеся на зустрічі, сваритеся в транспорті і зневажливо ставитеся до почуттів інших людей? Дитина це все бачить і повторює. Наші діти — це дзеркальне відображення батьків, хоча ми не завжди це помічаємо.

7. Ви зриваєтеся на дитину

На роботі можуть бути проблеми, прийшовши додому, ви відразу ж налітаєте на дитину, щоб випустити пар. А потім просто загладжуєте вину якоюсь смакотою. У дитини не формується поняття, що батьків радують її хороші вчинки і засмучують погані. Вона може потрапити під гарячу руку, навіть коли уроки зроблені і сміття винесено.

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